Doomsday, it Happens
by Dancing Feather
Summary: So on my list of things that have irritated me this week, I learned my 'boyfriend' is the ultimate weapon. Well, at least I now know that he's useful for something. :oneshot, Saikano AU:


Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Saishū Heiki Kanojo belongs to Takahashi Shin. If you see any spelling or grammatical errors, please correct me.

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**Doomsday, it Happens**

When most new kids come to my High Skool, they get filed in quietly. Unless you are paying attention, which I certainly didn't, you might never notice the class room slowly filling with a bunch of anonymous people. The once small town was turning into a city, most houses looked alike and neighbors became suspicious. In most of my classes, I sat in the back of the room, waiting for it all to be over. The class itself or the world, I couldn't decide.

However, this kid insisted on being noticed. He made up for his shortness with heeled boots and by being incredibly loud vocally and wearing stupid Hawaiian shirts. As if he couldn't attract enough attention with his personality already, he threw things around the class room when things didn't go his way. Drama queen, truly. I would've kept out of it, if it weren't for the fact that not many interesting things happened around here. I had straight As and no friends. This freakishly pale, blue eyed black haired kid, was proof time was passing.

While I have lost hope with my own species and didn't really care about fitting in anymore, this guy acted as if his mother didn't hug him enough, leaping at every new person asking if they want to be his 'new best-est friend'. He had become the class clown (and probably the skool's overall personal clown), taking in all kinds of dares. One that truly topped them all, was the one where he was told to ask me (the creepy paranoia kid) out. Being incredibly stubborn, he didn't back down from the challenge. Not particularly caring and knowing it would piss him off, I agreed to go out with him. It wasn't like my social status could get any lower.

"So, um, have you done this before?" he rose an eyebrow at me, his pale skin easily showing blush.

"What?"

"This whole dating thing." He waved a hand. I shrugged back and he narrowed his eyes at me. "Oh common, you must know something."

"Don't know don't care." The face he made right there was priceless.

Because he went through with the dare and my lack of consideration for his well being, his status quickly shot down near my level. While we certainly weren't boyfriends, I hate to admit, he was my first friend (and I'm probably his first as well). Neither of us had any social skills and lack of any contact with others in general made us talk nonstop at break times and occasionally through class itself.

"So, when are you going to throw the towel at me?" I said, changing subject from the recent earthquakes that have been happening.

"Eh?" The sound of oblivious.

"When are you going to dump me?" I restated.

"Eh?" I rolled my eyes.

"When are you going to call it quits and stop 'dating' me?" I leaned back in my desk, "Surely your sick of how everyone else is treating you."

"Well, you don't care." He relaxed, now knowing what we were talking about.

"So..." I prompted.

"Why should I?"

Seeing how his personality is, it wouldn't take much to get him into a fight. With the fact that now we were the skool's 'gay couple', I figured he would get into a lot of scrapes. But the thing is, if he where getting into scrapes, so would I. After all, it's not a gay couple unless there were two (supposably) gay people involved. We'd meet on our way walking to skool and talk. The injures started settle, a band aid here and there, but then long cuts showed on his arms. When I asked about them the excuses were of him verses long staircases, him verses slippery ground, him verses wildlife.

It was like I made friends with the most accidentally prone person in the world.

So I let it drop.

I should've been more suspicious and pressed him further. I love murder mysteries, I'd watch Mysterious Mysteries every time a new episode came up, trying to figure out the solution before the end of the show. But even if I did try to figure it out what was happening to him, I would've never guessed the answer.

Occasionally, people from the army would be walking through our skool. I never thought much of it, because I thought it was the same old trying to recruit kids that couldn't afford college. Then the air raid happened. Me, along with ever other memorized teenager stared at the jets and what have you shoot at each other, explode, and fall to the ground. Not being into military things, I only had the conversation between peers to help point out who was us and what kind of arsenal they were using.

"Look, it's an F-15!"

Wow, look at 'em go!"

"Nah man, that's an F-2."

"Did you see that? We totally took that guy out!"

"Dropping like flys!"

"One of us crashed into the public library...!"

"Yea! Kick his ass!"

"Hey, what's that?" One of the kids pointed to a thin white streak in the sky. It was so small it couldn't be a plane, but none of us could think of anything else that moved that fast. Whatever it was, it took out three F-somethings at once.

"Holy shit!"

The battle turned from having no idea who was winning to a break through on our side- for at least twenty minuets.

"It got shot from behind!"

"It's going down!" I started running ahead into the city, it was dangerous, but I wanted to see whatever that thing was.

"What are you doing Dib? You are going to get killed!"

I ignored whoever shouted that and kept running, the white streak in the sky was speeding downwards and seemed to be heading for several apartment buildings. Luckily I was wrong and it landed in the park beside them. Gasping as I climbed over the dirt mounds and broken machinery, I saw him rise from the smoke.

"Zim?"

It was him, but his skin was greener. His dim blue eyes now shined bright red. There was no left arm, but this large mechanical gun. From his back sprouted these long thin metal, spider looking legs. He coughed for a bit, removing the smoke from his lungs. When the smoke cleared and I came into his view, we stared at each other for a bit before he finally spoke.

"Whoah, this is awkward." He gave a nervous giggle before coughing again, "Dib! I know what this looks like, and it's not what you think!"

"Zim, I have no idea what the hell I'm looking at." I stated honestly.

"Really? Well, then I'll explain it to you tomorrow." He said before shooting back up into the sky.

"Okay." I said to no one but myself.

The next day, I didn't get a chance to talk to him until lunch. We sat in the skool's courtyard, under a tree that looked kind of old.

"Dib," he sighed, trying to find the right words to say, "I'm the ultimate weapon."

Pause.

"Well, that makes a whole lot of damn sense."

_'But it beats being bored.' _I added mentally.


End file.
